It should be noted right at the beginning that writing about sex is very much out of my comfort zone.
So far out of my comfort zone that I’m writing this meaningless introduction just to waste writing space on something other than sex. When I found out that November is sex month here at Kosovo 2.0 and we will be covering various sexy topics, I even blushed a bit and loudly squealed with embarrassment. How on Earth will I write about THAT?! Funny enough, sex is more than a common conversation-starter among my friends and we discuss it or joke about it on regular basis. As a matter of fact, we’ve been doing that since our early teen years when all of us were virgins and we learned about sex from teen magazines. Well, it seems no matter how liberal or liberated I get with years, my inner Catholic prude lives on and sex is sometimes still a taboo topic. Especially when you have to incorporate it into a blog and show it to the public. Hypocritical much?
I blame it on my upbringing. I was born into and raised by extremely religious family where sex was never even mentioned. It wasn’t considered as something you should be ashamed of, but since it wasn’t talked about – I assumed it is. I will never forget the moment when my nun aunt watched Mexican soap opera and asked me to change the channel when main protagonists started to kiss. Even a plain old kiss on the lips was too much.
I never got the infamous Sex Talk from my mother. I was in 7th grade when she timidly looked at me and almost whispered: “Sex without love is nothing.” Never after did she say one word about it and from then on, I only discussed it with my closest friends. Not a single word about contraception or advice on what is the right time to start having sex. Later on, already in my late 20’s, I asked her why she never talked about it. Again, with the same timid look and low voice, she said she figured I already knew everything about it. And she was right. I did. But a constructive serious conversation with my mother would sure beat finding out about sexually transmitted diseases from Oprah or about oral sex from Bill Clinton. Oh, wait, I almost forgot, oral sex is not sex, right?
The stigma of shame surrounding sex is still strong in our region. Liberal part of society almost pressures you into having sex, while traditional conservative clique makes you feel bad for even noticing you are a sexual being. If you talk about it too much, you are a slut. If you don’t talk about it at all, you are a pathetic loser who’s not getting any. It seems that ideal combination here is to have a lot of sex but hide that until you have to brag to your friends.
I also noticed how shocked our society is with the fact that more and more pre-teeners are engaging in sexual activities. The same society still hasn’t realized it is time we start having healthy open conversation about sexuality with our young ones.
For their own sake, let’s break the bad habit of feeling shame.
The article was originally written in English.
Photo credit: 62nd Magazine
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