Commitment Phobic

The untraditional one and usually some kind of a feminist, she swears off marriage in kindergarten. She throws a tantrum when you try to pick up the bill. Sometimes, in rare moments of insanity, Commitment Phobic will try to imagine standing in front of an altar with you. This vision, quickly followed by one of being trapped in the kitchen, slaving away to feed several hungry and screaming mouths may bring on a heart attack. She will then punish herself with a clubbing spree and shameless flirtation with other guys to wash away the bitter taste of possible commitment.

Commitment Rationalist

She is, well, rational and neutral. She won’t draft wedding guest lists a minute after she meets you, nor will she ignore your wish to get serious with her. She won’t pass out with joy when you tell her you love her, and she won’t hire a hitman if you tell her you don’t. She will rationally reconsider the idea of marriage after she spends a reasonable amount of time living with you. She doesn’t fall for sweet talk, so always keep it real with her.

Miss Imaginary

The one you all want and none of you can have — because she doesn’t exist. Perfect, physically and mentally, sculpted according to your ridiculous standards. She is the female equivalent to Mr. Right. Basically, she is as real as Narnia. In fact, walking through a wardrobe and stepping into a land of fauns and nymphs is more probable than meeting Miss Imaginary.

Be very careful, because there are two subtypes of commitment junkies: the ones who are open about their intentions and the closeted ones.

Closet Commitment Junkie

Ashamed to admit they feel this way, she is probably presenting herself as a moderate version of Commitment Phobic. This can be confusing because you thought you invited out someone who’s into a casual relationship, but you soon realize that you are wrapped up in something completely the opposite around the time you get the 10th “Hey, what are you doing?” text after the first date.

Junkie-Phase Rationalist

On rare occasions, Rationalist can briefly become Commitment Junkie. This usually happens when she is asked to be a bridesmaid or a maid of honor, and especially if she catches a bouquet at the wedding reception. Don’t freak out or break up with her because of this; she is still Rationalist at heart, and she will snap out of it when she comes back home and finds your dirty socks on her laptop (more on dirty laundry below).

How to date a Balkan woman

Meet the types of women you will meet, and the rules to treating them right.

Danijela Simrak

How to date a Balkan woman

Meet the types of women you will meet, and the rules to treating them right.

Danijela Simrak